Natural, a chestnut Standardbred, came into my life for $250 24 years ago. The vet who looked him over thought he was six or seven years old. That makes him about 30. And I’m about to lose the boy.
It didn’t dawn on me until I was talking to the U.S. Animal Nutritional rep (now known as Vetri Science) that those horse owners who live in warm climes don’t automatically calculate the wear and tear of winter weather on their equines. (This rep and I have talked at length about our horses and she has been a kind ear listening to my emotional exercise in coming to terms with putting my horse down.) And she was the one who fine-tuned that thought. That those of us in cold weather states have decisions to make that aren’t always easy.
Natural will not be able to face the snow and ice of a Michigan winter. As much as I keep mentally protesting, I’m coming to grips with that statement.
And so, if I lived in Florida, I would probably not be faced with this decision. At least not right now. Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair.
It has been excruciating this summer as I have tried modality after modality thinking I can “fix” him. And nothing has worked. Not massage, not chiropractic adjustments with acupuncture, not healing herbs, not pain relieving essential oils, not pharmaceuticals. Nothing.
How can this be, I keep asking myself.
As fall weather has now come into southern Michigan I realize that no miracle is imminent. While we were experiencing temps in the 70’s, I was able to pretend there was lots of time until inclement conditions. Not so anymore. And its breaking my heart.
I’ve thought about which experience is harder – going through a medical crisis and having the decision to put your horse down made for you, or this sad drawn out “waiting”. I’ve been through the first; my quarter horse got mauled by dogs several years ago. This seems harder. But then again, Natural was my first.
I hope, dear readers you will continue to lend your support as the time draws nearer and bear with me as I use this blog as a vehicle of remembrance.